When my partner and I went our separate ways it took time to adjust.  After being with someone for 13 years one does not just wake up the next morning without thinking about the other half?

The feeling of being alone in an apartment was not so much lonely as it was so quiet. To fill the emptiness I played the radio or the television in the daytime. One day while out looking at antiques I purchased an old fashion pendulum clock. I found the ticking and the chimes made the place feel homey and filled in the empty space better then television or radio.  

After a few months of adjustment I invited my ex over for supper. We talked about how each of us was adjusting to living alone and what we were doing with our spare time.

That summer we spent time together going for evening walks and drives together. Eventually we began to settle into our new lifestyle and again started to act like friends instead of a couple.

Our relationship may have ended but our friendship lasted and now we are more relaxed together then we were in the last few years of our living together.

No relationship is perfect and sometimes they need to be reinvented to survive and ours did just that.

My partner and I had been together for 13 years.

We meet and dated for 2 years before we moved in together. We were inseparable and did everything together, we enjoyed each other’s company. But after 13 years things go very stall and we treated each other more like an old married couple then lovers or friends.

I was my decision to get my own place and I did. We talked about it, we fought about it but it still came down to the fact that we had lost the fun in our relationship and needed to separate.

I found myself an apartment on the other side of town and he moved back home until he could feel comfortable living alone again. I knew this would be difficult for both of us but I also knew it would restore our friendship, if we had nothing else left.

It was not that we did not care for each other anymore but we spent too much time together and couldn’t find anything new to talk about or do.

The first few months were difficult and we both tried to adjust. We kept in touch and got together for coffee. Eventually I would invite him over for super and then we went together to a show.

As time passed we found our friendship growing again and enjoyed doing things together again.

My partner eventually got his own apartment and now we keep in touch and make plans to do things together. We invite each other over for supper, go to the movies, go for walks and all this is good.

The only thing that makes it work is the fact that we can say good bye and look forward to the next time and still have our own space.

Relationships never really die, they just need to be reinvented.

In the 80’s a devastating disease hit the gay community and nothing was ever the same. Although I lived in a small town no one was safe and I lost a friend.

Sexual encounters were never the same after that and people were afraid of simple contact. No one understood who was at risk or how it was spread. The disease was new and it swept across the U.S. and Canada. People watched as person after person died from this horrible disease.

Eventually the facts came out and treatments were available but no cure would ever be found. Today the disease is still with us and still no cure.

I was living with my partner when the epidemic hit and we watched the news in horror as month after month so many people died. We traveled to Toronto and saw the memorial placed near the church street district. We saw those who were affected by the disease and the compassion of their partners, family and friends trying to care for them.

We watched on television as the memorial quilts were laid out on the ground and we watched as thousands of people gathered for candle light vigils. We watched as the Religious radicals called it “God’s curse” on the homosexual community and we watched and wept.

Life as a gay person after that was very different. Sexual encounters were far and few and the gay community struggled to get back on its feet. Life went on but so many friends were lost.

Today Aids is still with us. People are still being affected but now on a global scale. If this disease has done anything positive for the gay community it was to bring us closer together. We as a community have survived and we will survive.

My partner and I spent a great deal of time together and eventually discovered the gay community. We met other gay people through clubs, groups and dances. Toronto of course was the mecca for the gay culture and we traveled to see the gay pride whenever possible.

The more time we spent with people of our own kind the more we realized how different we were from the straight community. We found it unsettling trying to relate to people we knew who were married and had children. We always felt like the outsider and found it difficult to compare the two lifestyles.

Gay marriage had not been legalized yet or even considered. Civil union was the issue of the day and there was enough unrest concerning that. All the religious fundamentalist were jumping on the band wagon to try and defeat the issue.

As the years went by my partner and I watch as Civil Union issue became legal and then Gay marriage was finally legalized as well. We didn’t take the marital plunge like some of our friends, we were just happy to be together.

Unfortunately time changes things and after thirteen years of living together we separated. We each have our own apartments now but we still see each other every so often. Our friendship remained even if our relationship ended.

As for finding another partner to live with I have my doubts. I enjoy living on my own now and spending a lot of quality time alone. When I feel like I need company I visit friends or they come and visit me. That is all I need in my life right now and I am happy.

When I found the cruising place by the river, I had no idea I would meet someone who would become my partner.

We meet on a summers day and began to go for walks through the cruising area. We spent weekends together and traveled to other towns and cities. We enjoyed each other’s company and felt comfortable just being together.

In a few years we had our own apartment and I distinctly remember feeling that this was the right thing to do and was very content.

I knew in my being that this person was my soul mate. There were times we would actually finish each other’s sentence. We had so much in common and never felt we had to entertain the other person. We were just happy to be together.

Many events happened in our lives over the next thirteen years and we have fond memories. Unfortunately nothing lasts forever and eventually we separated.

I have my own apartment now and he has his. We have remained friends and still do things together but the living together had come to an end.

We are grateful that we both met all those years ago and that we are still friends and will remain so until the end.

During high school there were too few encounters with guys. One day however I found a local cruising spot and that changed everything.

It was located in an area beside the river of my hometown. There were ruins of an old stone building on site and walking trails were all through the area.

I remember walking around there one weekend. There were lots of trees, which meant there was plenty of privacy. I walked around for a long time then selected a spot to have a jerk off session.

Twenty minutes later to my surprise a young fellow came through the bushes. He stood there with nothing on but a sexy smile. I quickly stripped down and we both had a wonderful afternoon.

For years this place became my stomping ground and I had plenty of sexual encounters, but best of all I met my life partner there. We had sex of course, but we found enjoyment more in each other’s company.  So a friendship began and then a relationship - that would last for many years to come.

When high school became a reality so did my first gay sexual experience. I still had my girlfriends like every other gay fellow but that did not suppress the longing for someone of the same sex.

I remember noticing this fellow at a high school dance one night. We make eye contact quit a few times and managed to meet in the washroom for a chance to stand next to one another at the urinals. Our hearts were beating so fast from the thrill of it, yet we didn't speak.

Finally near the end of the dance I stepped outside to get some air and he approached me. “My name is Ron” he said and put out his hand to shake mine. We talked for what seemed like hours and he asked me if I had plans after the dance. I told him I was with my girlfriend, but I could meet him somewhere later.

We meet around 11:00pm in a parking lot downtown. He drove a red Pontiac and asked me if I wanted to go for a drive. We took the back roads of town to a secluded area and he turned off the car.

Here I was 18 and my first time alone with another guy. We were both nervous but we also knew what we wanted. We sat talking for awhile and then he put his hand on my leg. We both looked at each other and he leaned over to kiss me. I leaned into him and we locked into a passionate kiss. Eventually he suggested we use the backseat and we did...

*(Intimate details of this account are for viewing at "My Sexual Encounters" site)